OMG OMG!!!

I'm so excited!!! I was recently informed by the head honcho of Confidential Care for Women that there is a organization that is working on establishing sort of like a hospital in Memphis. It is down to 4 locations but the man I met last night and talked to said that Memphis is pretty much top of the list.
Last night Confidential Care for Women had a banquet at Bellview which I served at with my new friend Katherine (who is awesome) and Justice. And of course a whole staff of servers who I was amazed to find out nearly every one of them were homeschooled. Just something we all had in common. Toni introduced me to this man that was sitting at her table. And I soon found out who he was, he was a representative for this Morning Center! The Morning Center offers:

The Morning Center maternity hospitals will offer…

• Complete prenatal care, counseling, mentoring, and professional photography that celebrates the joy of new life.

• A birthing center atmosphere in a full service maternity hospital, allowing a mother great flexibility in making birth choices – from facilities for water birth, and space for family, to highly trained staff and equipment needed for any medical situation.

• Staff members who have a clear sense of God’s calling to demonstrate the Good News of Jesus Christ in a potent and practical way as they care for each mother and baby

All For FREE! and they are using MIDWIVES!!! And not only Nurse Midwives!! And the representative told me how to get all my information at least on its first step of being looked at by the right people. The time line I was given was whether or not Memphis will be picked will be decided sometime next month. And then the Center is planned to open in January of 2013, I am scheduled to take my NARM Exam (the exam that makes me an officially North American accepted practicing midwife) in February 2013. So..... this might be another ministry that I can give my all to!!

I am so hyped!! I don't know how everything is going to work out but God works in mysterious ways sometimes.

Here's the link please take a look:

http://morningcenter.org/

The banquet was awesome, we collected enough money for our Mobile Ultrasound Unit. The speaker Dr. Wilkinson was really good. We didn't collect as much money as our board was praying for, enough to save 300 babies. To save one baby from being aborted is $1,200. And we have to work hard to get that from donors etc since we are a non-profit organization. But we have saved 84 babies this year. And I really enjoy volunteering and giving everything I can to Confidential Care.

Moving out to Millington was a total God thing for sure if I had any inkling of a question before :) Opportunity after opportunity has been placed in my path, then I'm given the chance to follow through with quite a few of those opportunities already. And I'm only 19 and just in the beginning stages of my studies to become a midwife. With all the support and opportunities I've been given God really wants me to become a midwife and He is going to bless me all along the way. Who could ask for more? For a calling and passion to be wrapped up in one and to have different things dropped in your lap continually, what could be better? Anyway, I am very excited with this whole Morning Center.

Another awesome excerpt from the book "Who Calls Me Beautiful?"

The moment we were created we became God's most precious and coveted work of art-chosen, guarded, and loved. As a woman of God, I must recognize that I am "fearfully and wonderfully" made because I am a product of the creative hand of the Most High God. I am "fearfully and wonderfully" made because I have access to one of the greatest intimacies human can know--a personal relationship with God.
The word fearful often makes us think of someone who is anxious and afraid. But placed in the context of God's abilities, the word takes on new meaning. When we are fearful of the work of God, we gaze with absolute attention and awe at the possibilities that exist in the very palm of His hand. Thus, I become totally fixed on God and His purpose for my life instead of being distracted and weighed down by the culture of our world.
Being fearful of the work of God means realizing that the possibilities for my life extend far beyond what I am able to bring about on my own. They exist in the abilities of an infinite God. And if the possibilities for my life exist in the abilities of an infinite God, I must define who I was at the moment of creation, who I am today, and who I will be tomorrow as God defines me, that is "fearfully and wonderfully made." I must declare as the psalmist did, "Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well." Deep within me are these words, which long to be heard over the din of this world. I was created by a perfect and flawless Creator, He intimately and deeply loves me, and I can rest in contentment in who I am in Christ Jesus.

More awesome excerpts from this book to come.

Update on my life.

This afternoon Diana asked me to come with her to a meeting with a local club/group of people that she was asked to come and speak about Confidential Care. She is going to start grooming me to speak to the groups of people that ask us to come and share about our ministry. More specifically she wants me to be able to speak at the youth groups and schools about abstinence etc. And after work today I helped her with a bible study/ bible camp thing for the kids at West Union. I'm starting to connect names with faces and faces into families. And people are starting to recognize me and call me by name. It's actually nice to have someone walk by you and smile at you because they genuinely like you after meeting you briefly the week before. A huge improvement seeing that I was use to knowing everyone very well that I interacted with regularly.

Today Diana officially announced that I'm her adopted daughter/sidekick/brain. Diana is a hoot and I love her to death. And I love making her laugh :) I think I've mentioned her at least once in every post since I met her. lol.

Something I've learned I lacked in when I moved out here to Millington: Social skills. Literally. I wasn't adept in introducing myself to strangers and having a normal length conversation that wasn't awkward. Some of my friends were really good at making friends and thus those people they met would just become my friends. I never had to initiate an awkward-first-conversation-ice-breaker. At first it was like that but I've learned (from a couple of weeks of constant exercise, a crash course of how to win friends and influence people) that looking someone in the eyes, genuinely smiling, and conveying that you are truly interested in whatever their response is going to be, you get off on the right foot. And its easy from there. If anyone remembers when I was younger I was shy. I think it was mainly because I was afraid of a lot of things. Weird, huh? I was mainly afraid of adults, if I remember how it felt back then, I think I felt every adult was out to get me in trouble and report me to my parents. So I shied away from interacting with them. Well anyway... one day I realized I was shooting myself in the foot by being shy. I don't really know what made me make the connection of being shy=actually ruining my life. Anyway, I'm a social butterfly now a days :)
This Saturday Justice and I are helping a nearby photographer pass out fliers at a festival. It's kinda connected with Confidential Care that's how we got recruited. We're going to be on our feet from 7am to about 5pm with required meal breaks etc. Wish us luck :) I met the guy I'm going to be working for, Matt, and we had an entire conversation and he gave me directions to get to his shop. And he asked me how old I was and when I told him I was 19 he said 'I thought you were younger than that, you look younger' I laughed! Then we joked about how everyone older than about 30 wants to be told that so I'm just ahead of my game etc.

That bible study I mentioned that I was wanting to join at West Union is starting this Sunday, I won't make it to the first meeting but I'm very interested in seeing who is all going to attend the up and coming meetings. I still haven't met everyone who attends West Union, especially not anyone that's is closer to my age who isn't away at college.

The weather has been gorgeous and perfect for horse riding. Judah stayed the weekend with us last week and he and Justice saddled up Ben and Toni's horses and went on a ride. They told me about it when I got home from Jackson, MS. I was little concerned at first and I quizzed them about all the tack and how they put it on the horses. But they did very well and the saddles stayed on, I wonder how long it took them because the horses aren't very good with taking a bit. It isn't rocket science or anything to tack up a horse, but it sure was entertaining to hear them explain what they did and use a bunch of names for things like the girth etc that they made up :)

So that's a short update on my life. More to come in the future if you're still interested :) Sorry about there not being any pictures I'm not a photograph-ish minded person so my first reactions to things is not whipping out a camera and capturing it. Sorry :)

Possibly new additions to my never ending education

I'm seriously researching and discovering the possibility of going to college for 13 months and getting the certification of sonographer or in other words an ultrasound technician. Trying to find a school nearby that won't require me to have a bachelor's degree first....

What got me seriously thinking about it was my most amazing boss Diana. At the CC (Confidential Care for Women-- the organization I'm volunteering at) we offer free ultrasounds, and obviously we have to have someone certified to use the equipment. We have 1 nurse that volunteers 2 days a week and a head nurse that comes every other week. So having one more person with the ability to give ultrasounds is a plus. AND.... we are having a banquet Bellevue in a couple of months to raise money to get a mobile ultrasound unit (read their mission statement but check out their site as well), which is totally awesome! Please check it out. Another plus in having the knowledge of using the ultrasound equipment is just having the knowledge in my midwifery career :) An awesome win win situation ;) So just one more dream to hopefully come true one day.

Working on joining the soon to be established bible study at West Union for college kids and young couples. But other than that just hanging out and meeting more people. Helping Diana with another children's church/drama based out of Nehemiah, which West Union is going to start before the Christmas drama I'm also going to help her with. So everything is great out here in Millington.

update from living in Millington

Been very busy the past week. Meeting a ton of people and working on forming relationships with quite a few of them.

Last Sunday, my family attended church with Ben, Toni, and Andrew. West Union Presbyterian church quite literally just down the street from our house. The members are mainly older people but these people have literally grown up in this church. But after attending that one service I was approached and asked if I would like to help with VBS, joining the choir, and had set up a coffee date with a lady named Francis to hear about quite a few organizations and programs she has pulled together.

She has great vision for a lot of things and she really has a burden on her heart for the young people in the Millington area. She has a 13 year old daughter who has a lot of the same interests as I do or is need of help and direction with things that I have some knowledge in. She is about to get a horse given to her and I offered to give her all the knowledge I have with training horses, she and I are interested in becoming homemakers so when talking with her mom different options were coming up for us to both learn how to quilt, knitt, etc. etc. And she originally was wanting to become a labor and delivery nurse so when I mentioned about becoming a midwife she was highly intrigued to maybe start in that direction rather than doing the whole nursing degree path. Just to name a few things.

Diana, my boss at Confidential Care for Women, has asked me to help her with her Christmas drama at West Union and recruited me to pass out fliers at an up and coming event. I think she really likes me ;-) And I really like her too so anything she asks for my help with I'm more than willing to do.

Still doing my research to finding a midwife to apprentice with. Francis mentioned a certified midwife in the area that she knows so maybe I can meet with her and maybe work something out there. Who knows, everything is very exciting. It feels like our focus out here is slowly becoming about forming relationships and doing things for the community's youth. Going to work on meeting more people my age and getting some friendships out here. Starting to really miss being able to hang out with (more specifically girls) people my age. So we will see....

But been busy and entirely enjoying myself. God is really giving me an opportunity to form relationships and connections with people that I'm going to use for the rest of my life. That's exciting in itself.

First Day Volunteering (kind of a long entry)

Today was my first day volunteering at a local organization called Confidential Care for Women. I loved my first day! Couldn't finish my orientation material since different things came up, but they were things that will happen probably every time. So I'm going to go back in 2 days and finish up (hopefully). Everyone I told that I was studying to become a Midwife were very interested and actually very impressed. One of my co-workers was so impressed she came and asked me some details and shared a couple of stories with me a little later on.
A woman I met today was intrigued because she had no idea that midwives existed, she thought hospital delivery was the only option in childbirth. When she found out I was 19 she shared what she was doing with her life, let's just say she encouraged me to learn from her that what I was striving for was practically the best life decision I can possibly make. When we were saying goodbye she said if I mess up my life she was going to come and hit me over the head (that wasn't what she said but I can't exactly quote her word for word on this blog), I felt the best way to respond was with a "Yes ma'am". Shortly after that I realized that I have just volunteered to experience probably the best learning opportunity for my entire life as a young adult. And knowing that makes me want to not only give everything I can, but now I guess I have something that requires just enough beyond what I comfortably and naturally give of myself that I have to stretch and make myself an even better person.

Confusing but stay with me, I'll try to explain a little better. The environment I was raised in was beyond just being described as AMAZING and also very blessedly sheltered. So different things in my life have a very firm foundation in what I have had instilled in me. But... I only needed to be strong in my faith for me (and girls who look up to me and adults who trust me but ultimately being strong in my faith was for me and my relationship with God). Volunteering at Confidential Care for Women has opened the door for me to share God with people, to show them that I am someone they can trust and can expect me to still love them no matter what they might share with me about themselves that most people aren't sure how to handle, and an opportunity to prove that I care about them as a person not as a statistic. But I have to be a strong person in faith because counseling a pregnant 13 year old isn't something to be approached with anything less than a constant silent prayer that I can say everything God might need for me to say to this scared, defensive, young girl. And body language, word choice, tone of voice, and even the simplest of gestures can portray in an instant to a client something that makes them shut down and not trust me. So a sensitive responsive constant communication with God is one of the minimum requirement for this volunteering opportunity I have signed up for. And I am ready for this challenge!!!! Or rather this adventure of my life.

And since getting an apprenticeship with a midwife is top priority in my life, I can only volunteer for 1 day so far. Which after today is hard because how can I stick to volunteering one day when I want to be there everyday?!? I'm excited for all the potential this adventure has to shape me into an entirely different person.

So.... if you notice something has changed about me the next time you see me and you can't really place a finger on it, here's an explanation of one of the contributing factors to possibly a perceivable noticed difference in me. Or maybe not an outward difference, but definitely an inward. And this is only after my first day! Absolutely marvelous, huh?

Moving again...

Well tomorrow I'm moving to Millington, TN (about 2 hours from where I live right now) with my parents.

Originally I mentioned re-evaluating about whether or not to move with them in about 3 months (I think). That changed itself.

So my life has been pretty chaotic! I have literally moved going on 3 times within 3 months. I'm becoming a gypsy. A good sort of gypsy that is. And having nothing feel like home really doesn't bother me as much as I originally thought it would. Another thing in my life that makes me feel like a 'gypsy', is that nearly every plan or detail in my life changes mid-action. Like I could be running out the door for a last minute plan, and then the last minute plan is canceled. So I switch gears. And when I am in the middle of a thought of doing something else, another last minute invitation works out and I'm running out the door again.
With moving, the moving dated changed I think twice. So literally all my stuff has been packed since the beginning of this week :-) One side of constantly changing plans is that you either left one step ahead or more than one step behind.

But what is life without stress, drama, or a tragedy of some sort? I could really settle with a lesser dose of drama in my personal life, just for my own sanity sake ;-)

Anyway.... another adventure of my life, which is opening doors to even more adventures. Maybe you'll hear more from me with pictures (dreaming big here) too! Because it's like I'm changing lifestyles to a slower more solitary one. Which is new and full of time to kill :-)

<3 The "Gypsy"

Who Calls Me Beautiful

This was a very moving passage, for me personally, in a book I'm reading called "Who Calls Me Beautiful" by Regina Franklin.(Thanks Mrs. Tara!) Written in the perspective of God to each woman individually who listens to the lies of the world of what's beautiful or not.

Before the beginning of time, I knew you. I knew what color your eyes would be, and I could hear the sound of your laughter. Like a proud father who carries a picture of his daughter, I carried the image of you in My eyes, for you were created in My image Before the beginning of time, I chose you. I spoke your names into the heavens, and I smiled as its melody resounded off the walls of My heart.
You are Mine. My love for you extends farther than the stars in the sky and deeper than any ocean. You are My pearl of great price, the one for whom I gave everything. I cradle you in the palm of My hand. I love you even in the face of your failure. Nothing you say or do can cause Me to stop loving you. I am relentless in My pursuit of you. Run from Me-- I will love you. Spurn Me-- I will love you. Reject yourself-- I will love you. You see, My love for you was slain before the foundations of the world and I have never regretted the sacrifice I made for you at Calvary.
When I see every part of who you are, I marvel at the work of My hands, for I whispered words of longing and desire and you came into existence. You are beautiful, and I take pleasure in you-- heart, mind, and body. You are My desire. When you turn your head in shame and despise what I have made, still I reach for you with gentle passion. You are My beloved and I am Yours.

(Author's adaptation from 1 John 3:2; Isaiah 43:1; Matthew 13:46; Ephesians 1:4; Revelation 13:8; Psalm 194:4; Song of Solomon 7:10; 6:3)


I know all of this is true. And how can I not be so completely humbled and broken that I feel like I have to ask God over and over again, "Why me?"

And just knowing that I can still bring a sparkle to God's eye even when I feel like His greatest disappointment makes me also feel even more unworthy. Because I feel like such a loser sometimes. Why would He be proud of me? But He is. And He wants to show me off, make a midwife out of me because that is His calling for me, and equips me every day to live for Him.

And the stupid thing is, is I get so bogged down by the things of this world and everything the devil tries to tempt me with that I forget all of this. And I find myself smudging the lines in my heart and in my conscience of what's right and what's wrong. And not feeling guilty for picking the sparkly, instant gratification, and flesh building things that the devil offers all the time to make me forget why believing in God and being a part of His Church is worth it all. And on top of all of that, picking the path with least resistance -which makes me easy prey- is just how you begin to walk when you fall for the devil's delusional (which means: to mislead the mind or judgment of; to deceive) gifts.

I guess my wake up call came just in time :-) There is some definite warfare in the spiritual realm, and I don't want to miss out on the fun. (Just kidding about the fun part)

Life Catch Up

I haven't blogged in a long time!!! And wow, a lot has happened!!!

The adventure that Life has me on at the moment is pretty confusing. There are far to many high and lows for someone like me who hates feeling emotional and out of control. But I've had a lot of growth to show for all the hard times. And I can honestly say I have experienced that when I get pushed to my limit-- I don't break, it takes a couple of deep breaths on my part then I work on getting my life back together... but I'm stronger for it. And spiritually, emotionally, and whatever else (physically?, personally?) I'm a different person. And the following events are all contributors to the new me :)

• I got my passage in March. That whole experience and blessing was a series of emptying everything out of me then filling me overflowing with encouragement and nuggets of wisdom that I am still processing. I think it will be there for me to pull from for the rest of my life. And now I have a relationships with the other ladies that for most of my life I've held at a level where it was a kind a barrier between me and them. Also I have to get use to how I am now not allowed to call some of them "Mrs. Fill in the Blank", which is like experiencing life reform in itself. I've called them 'Mrs. Fill in the Blank' for as long as they've been apart of my life. Anyway my passage was one of the events that changed my life.

• I went to Mexico for 3 weeks not even a week after my passage. That trip was hard... a lot of things in my life including emotional boundaries in myself were challenged and changed. Which writing it like that sounds like giving in, but was another one of those moments I was pushed to my breaking point but I'm still alive to learn from it.

• When I went to Mexico I had to bring a couple of Midwifery Lessons with me which I wasn't humanly capable to finish all of them. So I came home swamped with lessons, my friend was getting married, my immune system held out the whole time while in Mexico but when I got home it kinda gave up -pleurisy in your lungs isn't in any of my definitions of fun let me tell you-, and I was an emotional mess... So with all those contributing factors I failed my Second Module and I have to take it again.

All of those reading this who are counting on me becoming a midwife in a couple of years, don't worry this retake has only bumped my NARM exam date about 6-8 months, I think...

I got to talk on the phone with my Module Instructor, which really helped. She's Awesome, she helped me understand I wasn't a failure even though I felt like one. People are counting on me to become a midwife, supporting me etc and I felt like a failure because, at the time, Life took me out. And I was afraid I came to a point where the only option was to wimp out, and I looked at the long run of schooling and asked myself if I was going to let myself fail again. So that experience I've learned from.

• Now more currently, I live at Dean and David P. house. That's an adventure of life :)

• And my parents and my only annoying, lovable, little brother are planning on moving to Millington. I'm not freaking out (which is Rule #1 if anyone remembers), I'm still trying to figure out what I feel and think about that whole deal. I'm not moving with them at the moment but I am planning on re-evaluating that decision within the next 3 months or so.
  

So this is a public version of 'Life Catch Up' from the new Me :)

I passed the test.

Well I passed the test at the end of the workshops with a 92.86%. Not as well as I could have done but it is still a very good grade.

San Antonio here I come!!!

Tonight at 7pm my mom, Mrs Shalom, and I are leaving to San Antonio in our amazing Prius. We are going to drive for a while tonight then get a hotel room and take off again tomorrow morning. It takes about 13 hours for us to get there and I need to be at class no later than 8:30 am on Thursday. And I've discovered I am too much of a procrastinator and for the past few days I have been trying desperately to get some big assignments wrapped up. I still have to write a Research Paper on the History of Midwifery.....
Anyway I'm nearly on the first of many trips to Texas! My eyes are glazed at all that I've yet to accomplish and have accomplished in this day alone.

Take Luck

First of MANY trips to Texas

In about 2 1/2 weeks I will be going to San Antonio, Texas to take my first test on Module 1: Introduction to Midwifery. I have 5 other fellow students that I will get to meet. Basically I will be in a classroom like setting from 8am-5pm with an hour lunch break Thursday, January 6th and Friday, January 7th. This test won't be very hard but unfortunately I still have a couple of assignments that I need to complete to turn in the night of January 5th. So I will be cramming those in with my current A&P lessons. Now the A&P test/workshop/class thing will be considerably harder when I have to go again to San Antonio in May. Because Anatomy and Physiology hands down is just harder than learning the rules and regulations for being a midwife in Texas or learning the history of Midwifery. So another little update about my up-incoming first of MANY trips to Texas.
I also got invited to Becky's birth which will be in January sometime. She's due the end of January but everyone knows she'll go before her due date :). I am so tickled that she invited me not to help but to be there, I was happy and giddy all day long (no joke). Another thing is she has a Memphis midwife attending her birth so I will get to meet her and her assistant. And just all the opportunities that offers are amazing! I really can't wait!!!!

Started Module II today!!

Started the Anatomy and Physiology Module today. It will take me 24 weeks to complete, in other words 1 semester. It is online and it takes a lot of diligence to stay on top of all the lessons etc. But it is just one more category that I have to finish to be one step closer to becoming a midwife.

Module II

I'm about to start my 2nd subject/installment of my Midwifery education on November 29th. This "module" is dedicated to Anatomy and Physiology, and is on online class. Hence why I'm not able to go this year's Mexico trips, I can't be without internet for more than a day or two at a time. It's sad that I can't go and serve over there because I can't go without internet. But becoming a midwife in the long run is better than missing a mission trip or two...

I've been doing a lot of research online on Midwifery Colleges, nearby midwives, and birth centers. I am wanting to find the best places to apprentice or get some extra learning. Believe it or not there is still about 12 states that practicing midwifery is still illegal. And 10 that are still undecided. Why I've been trying to find nearby midwives is to know who I can find to one day in the near future to be my preceptor.

I'm also going to San Antonio, Texas for a workshop/test/class for the first module on January 4th to 8th or 9th. This trip should be a lot of fun! It is the first of many and I'll get to meet all of my fellow students. I'm not positive but I think I'll probably be the youngest. I sort of experience that at a MANA conference in Nashville a little bit ago. Everyone that I talked to were impressed at my concrete vision for my life before I even left high school. Most of the midwives are older than 30. Not all but a large percentage.

So this is where I'm at with my Midwifery schooling...

Midwifery Course!

Old news but I sent in my application for my Midwifery Course on August 9th, I think. But I received my orientation email on the 25th. Just to sum everything up..... I picked to start my course at a real crunch time. Meaning I pretty much have to do the first two modules at the same time. Which supposedly it is do-able. So with feeling the pressure from that thought and what it will cost as in study time. My course coordinator had attachments at the bottom of the email. Pretty much the Student's Handbook, ways to Efficiently Study, and the pre-module 1. Plus I had to do a bunch of surveys from different college websites to figure out which way I will learn the best. Which to one of them (there are three) I am a tactile/kinesthetic learner. Another I am a good balance of Active and Reflective, and Sequential and Global (with tendencies to be more Global), and have a moderate preference to be more Sensing rather than Intuitive, and Visual to Verbal. I have one more to take which is the one I will take more seriously but I have to pay a fee to receive my official answer, to this one there are 214 questions.
Another thing is I have to get books to study and the instructors especially stress that you have the latest edition. I had a couple of the books that previously studying people had, but I discovered since I am the only midwife of my generation here in the village, every book is like the 2nd edition when I need the 3rd etc. So now I am having to buy pretty much all new books, and books are expensive.Particularly books with a lot of information in them. So the next aspiring midwives might be able to use my editions of books before they update everything.
And on top of all that I have to have the first module done before the end of December because I have to go to San Antonio, Texas for my first workshop/test. Which shouldn't be to hard I think, if I don't have a social life anymore. But I think I can do this. For some really good reason God really wants me to become a midwife, He has been letting everything fall into place thus far. Not to mention I really want to become a midwife.
This is an update of my current adventure of life is.

A new theme

Sorry if this new theme seems depressing to some people, it just reminds me of a bunch of things that I love in this life. Mountains, rain, and long road trips when it rains. ;-)

Just Normal Life

Well..... The trip to Mexico in July (right now) didn't work out. But there are 2 trips going towards the end of this year. But I am unable to go on them ;-( Since I am starting my midwifery course (more details further on) I can't financially and mentally afford to go on a 2 week missions trip. First because the course is going to take everything in me: brain function, time, energy, and dedication. Second just from looking at this angle--the already dedicated jump off the cliff but you are just taking a moment to look at the overview for the rest of your life and just how much it is going to cost you-- I will no longer have a social life, I will no longer be able to just do and think "I will just work extra hard tomorrow", and I can't make plans that are to far in advance. But the plus on the whole thing is.... I really want to do it and not just do it well enough to pass the test but I want to be able to do it with everything inside of me and fly with flying colors.

Any way update on the whole Midwifery Course..... I am working on my application now. To send in my application I have to become a student member with the Association of Texas Midwives first and include proof of my membership in the official application. So recently I just sent my membership info and fee in the mail and will hopefully get something back from them either today or tomorrow. Then I just have to finish my 1 page essays on 'Why I want to become a midwife' and my 'Philosophy of Childbirth' and I'm ready to ship them my OFFICIAL application, which the ATM (Association of Texas Midwives) with respond by shipping me my first module etc.

Just last night Anna Hobbs came to me about what books she should start reading because she really wants to become a Midwife. I was so EXCITED!!!!! Because I really thought that I was going to be all alone by doing this course. I mean Ariel and Shiph kinda had each other and Rushi all going through the course at the same time so they always had someone to study with and to go with when they went to Texas and Florida etc. So far I know Naqah, Anna, and I want to become midwives and Aubrey is playing with the idea of becoming a midwives assistant which the course is pretty much the same as a midwives but different......I think like legal issues and such. I think of it as the assistant has to learn everything just like the midwife but the midwife training is more hard core compared to the assistants training. But anyway if Naqah and Anna do do the course Naqah will start when I am like 1/4 of the way through and Anna about 1/2. If everything goes as I would really like it to and am planning for it to.

Another big thing with this whole thing is the financial part. In my mind I know that I just need to trust in God and since He has blessed me with everything falling into place for me to become midwife He will provide and make a way. But somehow I feel like if I don't try to meet God there then nothing will happen. In other words I don't trust Him fully. With trying to meet Him there I've thought about and mentioned how I will need to get another part time job like a night job etc. My Mom pointed out that I don't trust God if I feel like I have to do something to make ends meet. I mean it isn't totally in my nature to just sit around waiting for God to drop something in my lap. I feel I find Him more in the things I do by pursuing and finding my way and meeting Him there. But I don't know, I know that everything will fall into place in the end if it is to be.

And since I am officially one of the worst people ever at blogging. I should get a award :-)

Another trip to Mexico

In July I am hoping to go to Mexico for two weeks. Mainly for Dassi's godson's graduation from kindergarten, but still I am going to Mexico. It might just be Dassi and I with each of our older brothers. Still not sure, which is entirely normal. Nicole Fitz. came to the village on her only 'time off' I guess you can call it. She only gets this sort of opportunity every two years. But while she was here she was sharing pictures and stories about the people at the ranch in Mexico and just listening to her made me realize I had to go again... and soon. I knew Dassi had been planning to go in July since we left in January, and once we both heard Nicole sharing stories we both got the same feeling. Literally that night I was looking up the price of plane tickets etc. Seeing that we really couldn't drive down there again we had to find an alternative. It turns out that Jason and Nicole would drive across the border in their truck and pick us up on the Texas' side of the border. So one of our options we are looking into is a bus ride. It is really cheap in comparison to a nearly $1,000 plane ticket! The only reason I could figure that a round trip plane ticket would cost that much was because the government etc. doesn't really want tourists visiting there at the moment, probably with the whole 'swine flu' thing. So a plane is out of the question, convenient in travel time, but out of the question.

So with the end of the school year, my graduation, starting my midwifery course, and a trip to Mexico it looks like my summer is relatively filled for the first couple of months. Now what I am going to come up to do for those last days of summer isn't even a worry in my mind. Hope you are having plenty of your own adventures in this life.

Another one of my Adventure...

Had another one :-) this one was at a birth on April 17th. So on April 15th we (Shiph, Ariel-River-and I) get the call at 1:30am to head to Jackson the first time. By the morning of the next day the mother's contractions weren't as close together and not that bad. So we packed up and headed home dreaming about getting a shower and some real sleep since our sleeping options were a love seat and a wood floor. By that evening we were called out again and we knew this was the real thing. So I jump out of the van right when we get there and set everything up...again. So time passed and soon Shiph and Ari had me coaching the mom through contractions- which I have never done before. Just before 10pm she was ready to push. Everything went normal until the shoulders wouldn't deliver. Then time seemed to slow down and it became an emergency. Just so you get an idea of what I was doing: I was like popcorn... handing stuff to the midwives, helping the mother into different positions, calling 911, jumping over beds to help, running out of the room again to do something else. I was stressed out!!! Pumped on adrenaline being yelled at to do things I have never done before so I did not do them right is not something I want anyone to have to go through. Finally the baby is born... but not breathing. Ariel started mouth to mouth CPR. I'm still running around. FINALLY the ambulance arrives and they take over and take the baby out to the waiting ambulance. The mama is doing amazing through all of this, entirely amazing. Soon another ambulance comes for her, which Ariel follows to the hospital. Shiph and I stayed behind to clean and put away everything in case they send out someone to investigate. Which is also stress full, because then law gets involved if the baby dies. Soon we get word that our baby boy is fine breathing and crying. And he was a huge baby 10lbs 3oz 22 3/4in. So when I got home Saturday at 4am I was dead on my feet from adrenaline running out again for about the 5th time in 2 days, and just all the emotions I had to deal with the whole stuck not breathing baby. So when I had to get up at 6:30am for passage prep my brain wasn't working to the functional degree I wished it was. But anyway that is a very happy and light concentrated version of the scariest birth that I have ever experienced that made me question if I wanted to be a midwife. But after some rational thinking I knew that I still want to.

Graduating from school to more school

The weeks are passing quickly. I graduate in the month of May but I already feel pressured. And about 2 weeks later I will hopefully start my midwifery course. I am actually extremely looking forward to my graduation..... not like it has been something I have been looking forward to for most of my home schooled life or anything. The 'feeling pressured' deal is actually many things added up on top of each other all trying to be done before the other is done, or another getting added in the pile needing to be done. Fun huh? Being busy is a great thing to be but it has a tendency of spilling over into the small amount of time you would really appreciate to be spending on something considered not task or job oriented. ~ Beggars can't be choosers ~. Since everyone else considers themselves terrible bloggers, I would like to also consider myself one. I am not trying to be like everyone else, but truth be told I am a terrible blogger. So here's to life :-)