Monday, May 23, 2011

Life Catch Up

I haven't blogged in a long time!!! And wow, a lot has happened!!!

The adventure that Life has me on at the moment is pretty confusing. There are far to many high and lows for someone like me who hates feeling emotional and out of control. But I've had a lot of growth to show for all the hard times. And I can honestly say I have experienced that when I get pushed to my limit-- I don't break, it takes a couple of deep breaths on my part then I work on getting my life back together... but I'm stronger for it. And spiritually, emotionally, and whatever else (physically?, personally?) I'm a different person. And the following events are all contributors to the new me :)

  • I got my passage in March. That whole experience and blessing was a series of emptying everything out of me then filling me overflowing with encouragement and nuggets of wisdom that I am still processing. I think it will be there for me to pull from for the rest of my life. And now I have a relationships with the other ladies that for most of my life I've held at a level where it was a kind a barrier between me and them. Also I have to get use to how I am now not allowed to call some of them "Mrs. Fill in the Blank", which is like experiencing life reform in itself. I've called them 'Mrs. Fill in the Blank' for as long as they've been apart of my life. Anyway my passage was one of the events that changed my life.

  • I went to Mexico for 3 weeks not even a week after my passage. That trip was hard... a lot of things in my life including emotional boundaries in myself were challenged and changed. Which writing it like that sounds like giving in, but was another one of those moments I was pushed to my breaking point but I'm still alive to learn from it.

  • When I went to Mexico I had to bring a couple of Midwifery Lessons with me which I wasn't humanly capable to finish all of them. So I came home swamped with lessons, my friend was getting married, my immune system held out the whole time while in Mexico but when I got home it kinda gave up -pleurisy in your lungs isn't in any of my definitions of fun let me tell you-, and I was an emotional mess... So with all those contributing factors I failed my Second Module and I have to take it again.
All of those reading this who are counting on me becoming a midwife in a couple of years, don't worry this retake has only bumped my NARM exam date about 6-8 months, I think...

I got to talk on the phone with my Module Instructor, which really helped. She's Awesome, she helped me understand I wasn't a failure even though I felt like one. People are counting on me to become a midwife, supporting me etc and I felt like a failure because, at the time, Life took me out. And I was afraid I came to a point where the only option was to wimp out, and I looked at the long run of schooling and asked myself if I was going to let myself fail again. So that experience I've learned from.

  • Now more currently, I live at Dean and David P. house. That's an adventure of life :)
  • And my parents and my only annoying, lovable, little brother are planning on moving to Millington. I'm not freaking out (which is Rule #1 if anyone remembers), I'm still trying to figure out what I feel and think about that whole deal. I'm not moving with them at the moment but I am planning on re-evaluating that decision within the next 3 months or so.

So this is a public version of 'Life Catch Up' from the new Me :)