Just Normal Life

Well..... The trip to Mexico in July (right now) didn't work out. But there are 2 trips going towards the end of this year. But I am unable to go on them ;-( Since I am starting my midwifery course (more details further on) I can't financially and mentally afford to go on a 2 week missions trip. First because the course is going to take everything in me: brain function, time, energy, and dedication. Second just from looking at this angle--the already dedicated jump off the cliff but you are just taking a moment to look at the overview for the rest of your life and just how much it is going to cost you-- I will no longer have a social life, I will no longer be able to just do and think "I will just work extra hard tomorrow", and I can't make plans that are to far in advance. But the plus on the whole thing is.... I really want to do it and not just do it well enough to pass the test but I want to be able to do it with everything inside of me and fly with flying colors.

Any way update on the whole Midwifery Course..... I am working on my application now. To send in my application I have to become a student member with the Association of Texas Midwives first and include proof of my membership in the official application. So recently I just sent my membership info and fee in the mail and will hopefully get something back from them either today or tomorrow. Then I just have to finish my 1 page essays on 'Why I want to become a midwife' and my 'Philosophy of Childbirth' and I'm ready to ship them my OFFICIAL application, which the ATM (Association of Texas Midwives) with respond by shipping me my first module etc.

Just last night Anna Hobbs came to me about what books she should start reading because she really wants to become a Midwife. I was so EXCITED!!!!! Because I really thought that I was going to be all alone by doing this course. I mean Ariel and Shiph kinda had each other and Rushi all going through the course at the same time so they always had someone to study with and to go with when they went to Texas and Florida etc. So far I know Naqah, Anna, and I want to become midwives and Aubrey is playing with the idea of becoming a midwives assistant which the course is pretty much the same as a midwives but different......I think like legal issues and such. I think of it as the assistant has to learn everything just like the midwife but the midwife training is more hard core compared to the assistants training. But anyway if Naqah and Anna do do the course Naqah will start when I am like 1/4 of the way through and Anna about 1/2. If everything goes as I would really like it to and am planning for it to.

Another big thing with this whole thing is the financial part. In my mind I know that I just need to trust in God and since He has blessed me with everything falling into place for me to become midwife He will provide and make a way. But somehow I feel like if I don't try to meet God there then nothing will happen. In other words I don't trust Him fully. With trying to meet Him there I've thought about and mentioned how I will need to get another part time job like a night job etc. My Mom pointed out that I don't trust God if I feel like I have to do something to make ends meet. I mean it isn't totally in my nature to just sit around waiting for God to drop something in my lap. I feel I find Him more in the things I do by pursuing and finding my way and meeting Him there. But I don't know, I know that everything will fall into place in the end if it is to be.

And since I am officially one of the worst people ever at blogging. I should get a award :-)