A new theme

Sorry if this new theme seems depressing to some people, it just reminds me of a bunch of things that I love in this life. Mountains, rain, and long road trips when it rains. ;-)

Just Normal Life

Well..... The trip to Mexico in July (right now) didn't work out. But there are 2 trips going towards the end of this year. But I am unable to go on them ;-( Since I am starting my midwifery course (more details further on) I can't financially and mentally afford to go on a 2 week missions trip. First because the course is going to take everything in me: brain function, time, energy, and dedication. Second just from looking at this angle--the already dedicated jump off the cliff but you are just taking a moment to look at the overview for the rest of your life and just how much it is going to cost you-- I will no longer have a social life, I will no longer be able to just do and think "I will just work extra hard tomorrow", and I can't make plans that are to far in advance. But the plus on the whole thing is.... I really want to do it and not just do it well enough to pass the test but I want to be able to do it with everything inside of me and fly with flying colors.

Any way update on the whole Midwifery Course..... I am working on my application now. To send in my application I have to become a student member with the Association of Texas Midwives first and include proof of my membership in the official application. So recently I just sent my membership info and fee in the mail and will hopefully get something back from them either today or tomorrow. Then I just have to finish my 1 page essays on 'Why I want to become a midwife' and my 'Philosophy of Childbirth' and I'm ready to ship them my OFFICIAL application, which the ATM (Association of Texas Midwives) with respond by shipping me my first module etc.

Just last night Anna Hobbs came to me about what books she should start reading because she really wants to become a Midwife. I was so EXCITED!!!!! Because I really thought that I was going to be all alone by doing this course. I mean Ariel and Shiph kinda had each other and Rushi all going through the course at the same time so they always had someone to study with and to go with when they went to Texas and Florida etc. So far I know Naqah, Anna, and I want to become midwives and Aubrey is playing with the idea of becoming a midwives assistant which the course is pretty much the same as a midwives but different......I think like legal issues and such. I think of it as the assistant has to learn everything just like the midwife but the midwife training is more hard core compared to the assistants training. But anyway if Naqah and Anna do do the course Naqah will start when I am like 1/4 of the way through and Anna about 1/2. If everything goes as I would really like it to and am planning for it to.

Another big thing with this whole thing is the financial part. In my mind I know that I just need to trust in God and since He has blessed me with everything falling into place for me to become midwife He will provide and make a way. But somehow I feel like if I don't try to meet God there then nothing will happen. In other words I don't trust Him fully. With trying to meet Him there I've thought about and mentioned how I will need to get another part time job like a night job etc. My Mom pointed out that I don't trust God if I feel like I have to do something to make ends meet. I mean it isn't totally in my nature to just sit around waiting for God to drop something in my lap. I feel I find Him more in the things I do by pursuing and finding my way and meeting Him there. But I don't know, I know that everything will fall into place in the end if it is to be.

And since I am officially one of the worst people ever at blogging. I should get a award :-)

Another trip to Mexico

In July I am hoping to go to Mexico for two weeks. Mainly for Dassi's godson's graduation from kindergarten, but still I am going to Mexico. It might just be Dassi and I with each of our older brothers. Still not sure, which is entirely normal. Nicole Fitz. came to the village on her only 'time off' I guess you can call it. She only gets this sort of opportunity every two years. But while she was here she was sharing pictures and stories about the people at the ranch in Mexico and just listening to her made me realize I had to go again... and soon. I knew Dassi had been planning to go in July since we left in January, and once we both heard Nicole sharing stories we both got the same feeling. Literally that night I was looking up the price of plane tickets etc. Seeing that we really couldn't drive down there again we had to find an alternative. It turns out that Jason and Nicole would drive across the border in their truck and pick us up on the Texas' side of the border. So one of our options we are looking into is a bus ride. It is really cheap in comparison to a nearly $1,000 plane ticket! The only reason I could figure that a round trip plane ticket would cost that much was because the government etc. doesn't really want tourists visiting there at the moment, probably with the whole 'swine flu' thing. So a plane is out of the question, convenient in travel time, but out of the question.

So with the end of the school year, my graduation, starting my midwifery course, and a trip to Mexico it looks like my summer is relatively filled for the first couple of months. Now what I am going to come up to do for those last days of summer isn't even a worry in my mind. Hope you are having plenty of your own adventures in this life.

Another one of my Adventure...

Had another one :-) this one was at a birth on April 17th. So on April 15th we (Shiph, Ariel-River-and I) get the call at 1:30am to head to Jackson the first time. By the morning of the next day the mother's contractions weren't as close together and not that bad. So we packed up and headed home dreaming about getting a shower and some real sleep since our sleeping options were a love seat and a wood floor. By that evening we were called out again and we knew this was the real thing. So I jump out of the van right when we get there and set everything up...again. So time passed and soon Shiph and Ari had me coaching the mom through contractions- which I have never done before. Just before 10pm she was ready to push. Everything went normal until the shoulders wouldn't deliver. Then time seemed to slow down and it became an emergency. Just so you get an idea of what I was doing: I was like popcorn... handing stuff to the midwives, helping the mother into different positions, calling 911, jumping over beds to help, running out of the room again to do something else. I was stressed out!!! Pumped on adrenaline being yelled at to do things I have never done before so I did not do them right is not something I want anyone to have to go through. Finally the baby is born... but not breathing. Ariel started mouth to mouth CPR. I'm still running around. FINALLY the ambulance arrives and they take over and take the baby out to the waiting ambulance. The mama is doing amazing through all of this, entirely amazing. Soon another ambulance comes for her, which Ariel follows to the hospital. Shiph and I stayed behind to clean and put away everything in case they send out someone to investigate. Which is also stress full, because then law gets involved if the baby dies. Soon we get word that our baby boy is fine breathing and crying. And he was a huge baby 10lbs 3oz 22 3/4in. So when I got home Saturday at 4am I was dead on my feet from adrenaline running out again for about the 5th time in 2 days, and just all the emotions I had to deal with the whole stuck not breathing baby. So when I had to get up at 6:30am for passage prep my brain wasn't working to the functional degree I wished it was. But anyway that is a very happy and light concentrated version of the scariest birth that I have ever experienced that made me question if I wanted to be a midwife. But after some rational thinking I knew that I still want to.

Graduating from school to more school

The weeks are passing quickly. I graduate in the month of May but I already feel pressured. And about 2 weeks later I will hopefully start my midwifery course. I am actually extremely looking forward to my graduation..... not like it has been something I have been looking forward to for most of my home schooled life or anything. The 'feeling pressured' deal is actually many things added up on top of each other all trying to be done before the other is done, or another getting added in the pile needing to be done. Fun huh? Being busy is a great thing to be but it has a tendency of spilling over into the small amount of time you would really appreciate to be spending on something considered not task or job oriented. ~ Beggars can't be choosers ~. Since everyone else considers themselves terrible bloggers, I would like to also consider myself one. I am not trying to be like everyone else, but truth be told I am a terrible blogger. So here's to life :-)

left to right: Joel, JD, Chasah, Daniel, Dassi, me, Becca, Aubrey, Brendan, Esther, and Noah

This is a picture we got on January 31st, it was the last day of our ice storm. By the end of the day pretty much all the ice had melted. It was really pretty. And it was fun just walking around pulling icicles off of trees and eating them :-)

Some more Adventure of my life

So.... I have gone to Mexico and I haven't really published any posts since. So at this point in time my adventures consist of: finishing school, working, going to loads of practices and meetings, and hanging out with friends. I still haven't started my midwifery course because I have to wait to graduate...... which is taking a long time. Being busy I guess is what I am good at. Because somehow every day passes quickly and when on Monday I am asked what I did on the weekend, I can't remember. Right now I am on my lunch break and David Dickerson-who works in the cubicle connected to mine- saw that I was beginning to publish a post here and mentioned I am one of the vast majority of people who only blog when there is something extravagant to write about. Which is entirely true.... about me that is.

But I have done something that was very adventurous recently, It was when I got to help delivery Ashley and Ray's second baby, Ahava Ivy, on Sunday, January 24th. It was my first birth in which I was an officially acting assistant. It was amazing! And each birth that I get to go to will be life changing-ly amazing, because witnessing a child being born will never get old. But from the moment I got called at 2pm-2am my adrenal glands supplied me with enough energy and awareness to keep me awake way beyond natural sleeping patterns and made me a zombie for work the next day. If I were only allowed to pick one superpower I think I would enjoy being invincible, but how can you only pick one superpower? But since I was so pumped for the birth that whenever someone tried to talk to me or ask me a question I got really snappy. I couldn't slow down and for some reason everyone was moving really slow and talking even slower :-)

But Ashley was amazing and not very long at all after Ahava was born she was cracking jokes and looking radiant.

Being a midwife is something I really want to do, and since I have made the decision to pursue that knowledge God has made so many things fall into place. I live in a village that has 3 -legally 2- already certified midwives, and opportunities to help deliver babies pretty much every month. It is amazing just how everything has fallen into place. Aubrey and I get to work and learn together, and each of our weaknesses and strengths work off of each other. Aubrey wants to become a midwives assistant, and she is at the moment working on a doula course. We are the next generation midwifery team.

I don't know how anyone can say life is boring because there are so many opportunities to make yourself busy with. But I must admit being busy can be a little boring :-), at least the kind I am right now. But there are always the times that are way to much fun, like hanging out with friends.

Friends make life so much better! I love laughing, and just being myself with my girl friends. For a while it felt like I didn't have a social life at all, but by just making the time to hang out with my friends has made life more fun. Anyway...... here is my post for this day February 2nd. Happy living :-)