OMG OMG!!!

I'm so excited!!! I was recently informed by the head honcho of Confidential Care for Women that there is a organization that is working on establishing sort of like a hospital in Memphis. It is down to 4 locations but the man I met last night and talked to said that Memphis is pretty much top of the list.
Last night Confidential Care for Women had a banquet at Bellview which I served at with my new friend Katherine (who is awesome) and Justice. And of course a whole staff of servers who I was amazed to find out nearly every one of them were homeschooled. Just something we all had in common. Toni introduced me to this man that was sitting at her table. And I soon found out who he was, he was a representative for this Morning Center! The Morning Center offers:

The Morning Center maternity hospitals will offer…

• Complete prenatal care, counseling, mentoring, and professional photography that celebrates the joy of new life.

• A birthing center atmosphere in a full service maternity hospital, allowing a mother great flexibility in making birth choices – from facilities for water birth, and space for family, to highly trained staff and equipment needed for any medical situation.

• Staff members who have a clear sense of God’s calling to demonstrate the Good News of Jesus Christ in a potent and practical way as they care for each mother and baby

All For FREE! and they are using MIDWIVES!!! And not only Nurse Midwives!! And the representative told me how to get all my information at least on its first step of being looked at by the right people. The time line I was given was whether or not Memphis will be picked will be decided sometime next month. And then the Center is planned to open in January of 2013, I am scheduled to take my NARM Exam (the exam that makes me an officially North American accepted practicing midwife) in February 2013. So..... this might be another ministry that I can give my all to!!

I am so hyped!! I don't know how everything is going to work out but God works in mysterious ways sometimes.

Here's the link please take a look:

http://morningcenter.org/

The banquet was awesome, we collected enough money for our Mobile Ultrasound Unit. The speaker Dr. Wilkinson was really good. We didn't collect as much money as our board was praying for, enough to save 300 babies. To save one baby from being aborted is $1,200. And we have to work hard to get that from donors etc since we are a non-profit organization. But we have saved 84 babies this year. And I really enjoy volunteering and giving everything I can to Confidential Care.

Moving out to Millington was a total God thing for sure if I had any inkling of a question before :) Opportunity after opportunity has been placed in my path, then I'm given the chance to follow through with quite a few of those opportunities already. And I'm only 19 and just in the beginning stages of my studies to become a midwife. With all the support and opportunities I've been given God really wants me to become a midwife and He is going to bless me all along the way. Who could ask for more? For a calling and passion to be wrapped up in one and to have different things dropped in your lap continually, what could be better? Anyway, I am very excited with this whole Morning Center.

Another awesome excerpt from the book "Who Calls Me Beautiful?"

The moment we were created we became God's most precious and coveted work of art-chosen, guarded, and loved. As a woman of God, I must recognize that I am "fearfully and wonderfully" made because I am a product of the creative hand of the Most High God. I am "fearfully and wonderfully" made because I have access to one of the greatest intimacies human can know--a personal relationship with God.
The word fearful often makes us think of someone who is anxious and afraid. But placed in the context of God's abilities, the word takes on new meaning. When we are fearful of the work of God, we gaze with absolute attention and awe at the possibilities that exist in the very palm of His hand. Thus, I become totally fixed on God and His purpose for my life instead of being distracted and weighed down by the culture of our world.
Being fearful of the work of God means realizing that the possibilities for my life extend far beyond what I am able to bring about on my own. They exist in the abilities of an infinite God. And if the possibilities for my life exist in the abilities of an infinite God, I must define who I was at the moment of creation, who I am today, and who I will be tomorrow as God defines me, that is "fearfully and wonderfully made." I must declare as the psalmist did, "Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well." Deep within me are these words, which long to be heard over the din of this world. I was created by a perfect and flawless Creator, He intimately and deeply loves me, and I can rest in contentment in who I am in Christ Jesus.

More awesome excerpts from this book to come.

Update on my life.

This afternoon Diana asked me to come with her to a meeting with a local club/group of people that she was asked to come and speak about Confidential Care. She is going to start grooming me to speak to the groups of people that ask us to come and share about our ministry. More specifically she wants me to be able to speak at the youth groups and schools about abstinence etc. And after work today I helped her with a bible study/ bible camp thing for the kids at West Union. I'm starting to connect names with faces and faces into families. And people are starting to recognize me and call me by name. It's actually nice to have someone walk by you and smile at you because they genuinely like you after meeting you briefly the week before. A huge improvement seeing that I was use to knowing everyone very well that I interacted with regularly.

Today Diana officially announced that I'm her adopted daughter/sidekick/brain. Diana is a hoot and I love her to death. And I love making her laugh :) I think I've mentioned her at least once in every post since I met her. lol.

Something I've learned I lacked in when I moved out here to Millington: Social skills. Literally. I wasn't adept in introducing myself to strangers and having a normal length conversation that wasn't awkward. Some of my friends were really good at making friends and thus those people they met would just become my friends. I never had to initiate an awkward-first-conversation-ice-breaker. At first it was like that but I've learned (from a couple of weeks of constant exercise, a crash course of how to win friends and influence people) that looking someone in the eyes, genuinely smiling, and conveying that you are truly interested in whatever their response is going to be, you get off on the right foot. And its easy from there. If anyone remembers when I was younger I was shy. I think it was mainly because I was afraid of a lot of things. Weird, huh? I was mainly afraid of adults, if I remember how it felt back then, I think I felt every adult was out to get me in trouble and report me to my parents. So I shied away from interacting with them. Well anyway... one day I realized I was shooting myself in the foot by being shy. I don't really know what made me make the connection of being shy=actually ruining my life. Anyway, I'm a social butterfly now a days :)
This Saturday Justice and I are helping a nearby photographer pass out fliers at a festival. It's kinda connected with Confidential Care that's how we got recruited. We're going to be on our feet from 7am to about 5pm with required meal breaks etc. Wish us luck :) I met the guy I'm going to be working for, Matt, and we had an entire conversation and he gave me directions to get to his shop. And he asked me how old I was and when I told him I was 19 he said 'I thought you were younger than that, you look younger' I laughed! Then we joked about how everyone older than about 30 wants to be told that so I'm just ahead of my game etc.

That bible study I mentioned that I was wanting to join at West Union is starting this Sunday, I won't make it to the first meeting but I'm very interested in seeing who is all going to attend the up and coming meetings. I still haven't met everyone who attends West Union, especially not anyone that's is closer to my age who isn't away at college.

The weather has been gorgeous and perfect for horse riding. Judah stayed the weekend with us last week and he and Justice saddled up Ben and Toni's horses and went on a ride. They told me about it when I got home from Jackson, MS. I was little concerned at first and I quizzed them about all the tack and how they put it on the horses. But they did very well and the saddles stayed on, I wonder how long it took them because the horses aren't very good with taking a bit. It isn't rocket science or anything to tack up a horse, but it sure was entertaining to hear them explain what they did and use a bunch of names for things like the girth etc that they made up :)

So that's a short update on my life. More to come in the future if you're still interested :) Sorry about there not being any pictures I'm not a photograph-ish minded person so my first reactions to things is not whipping out a camera and capturing it. Sorry :)

Possibly new additions to my never ending education

I'm seriously researching and discovering the possibility of going to college for 13 months and getting the certification of sonographer or in other words an ultrasound technician. Trying to find a school nearby that won't require me to have a bachelor's degree first....

What got me seriously thinking about it was my most amazing boss Diana. At the CC (Confidential Care for Women-- the organization I'm volunteering at) we offer free ultrasounds, and obviously we have to have someone certified to use the equipment. We have 1 nurse that volunteers 2 days a week and a head nurse that comes every other week. So having one more person with the ability to give ultrasounds is a plus. AND.... we are having a banquet Bellevue in a couple of months to raise money to get a mobile ultrasound unit (read their mission statement but check out their site as well), which is totally awesome! Please check it out. Another plus in having the knowledge of using the ultrasound equipment is just having the knowledge in my midwifery career :) An awesome win win situation ;) So just one more dream to hopefully come true one day.

Working on joining the soon to be established bible study at West Union for college kids and young couples. But other than that just hanging out and meeting more people. Helping Diana with another children's church/drama based out of Nehemiah, which West Union is going to start before the Christmas drama I'm also going to help her with. So everything is great out here in Millington.

update from living in Millington

Been very busy the past week. Meeting a ton of people and working on forming relationships with quite a few of them.

Last Sunday, my family attended church with Ben, Toni, and Andrew. West Union Presbyterian church quite literally just down the street from our house. The members are mainly older people but these people have literally grown up in this church. But after attending that one service I was approached and asked if I would like to help with VBS, joining the choir, and had set up a coffee date with a lady named Francis to hear about quite a few organizations and programs she has pulled together.

She has great vision for a lot of things and she really has a burden on her heart for the young people in the Millington area. She has a 13 year old daughter who has a lot of the same interests as I do or is need of help and direction with things that I have some knowledge in. She is about to get a horse given to her and I offered to give her all the knowledge I have with training horses, she and I are interested in becoming homemakers so when talking with her mom different options were coming up for us to both learn how to quilt, knitt, etc. etc. And she originally was wanting to become a labor and delivery nurse so when I mentioned about becoming a midwife she was highly intrigued to maybe start in that direction rather than doing the whole nursing degree path. Just to name a few things.

Diana, my boss at Confidential Care for Women, has asked me to help her with her Christmas drama at West Union and recruited me to pass out fliers at an up and coming event. I think she really likes me ;-) And I really like her too so anything she asks for my help with I'm more than willing to do.

Still doing my research to finding a midwife to apprentice with. Francis mentioned a certified midwife in the area that she knows so maybe I can meet with her and maybe work something out there. Who knows, everything is very exciting. It feels like our focus out here is slowly becoming about forming relationships and doing things for the community's youth. Going to work on meeting more people my age and getting some friendships out here. Starting to really miss being able to hang out with (more specifically girls) people my age. So we will see....

But been busy and entirely enjoying myself. God is really giving me an opportunity to form relationships and connections with people that I'm going to use for the rest of my life. That's exciting in itself.

First Day Volunteering (kind of a long entry)

Today was my first day volunteering at a local organization called Confidential Care for Women. I loved my first day! Couldn't finish my orientation material since different things came up, but they were things that will happen probably every time. So I'm going to go back in 2 days and finish up (hopefully). Everyone I told that I was studying to become a Midwife were very interested and actually very impressed. One of my co-workers was so impressed she came and asked me some details and shared a couple of stories with me a little later on.
A woman I met today was intrigued because she had no idea that midwives existed, she thought hospital delivery was the only option in childbirth. When she found out I was 19 she shared what she was doing with her life, let's just say she encouraged me to learn from her that what I was striving for was practically the best life decision I can possibly make. When we were saying goodbye she said if I mess up my life she was going to come and hit me over the head (that wasn't what she said but I can't exactly quote her word for word on this blog), I felt the best way to respond was with a "Yes ma'am". Shortly after that I realized that I have just volunteered to experience probably the best learning opportunity for my entire life as a young adult. And knowing that makes me want to not only give everything I can, but now I guess I have something that requires just enough beyond what I comfortably and naturally give of myself that I have to stretch and make myself an even better person.

Confusing but stay with me, I'll try to explain a little better. The environment I was raised in was beyond just being described as AMAZING and also very blessedly sheltered. So different things in my life have a very firm foundation in what I have had instilled in me. But... I only needed to be strong in my faith for me (and girls who look up to me and adults who trust me but ultimately being strong in my faith was for me and my relationship with God). Volunteering at Confidential Care for Women has opened the door for me to share God with people, to show them that I am someone they can trust and can expect me to still love them no matter what they might share with me about themselves that most people aren't sure how to handle, and an opportunity to prove that I care about them as a person not as a statistic. But I have to be a strong person in faith because counseling a pregnant 13 year old isn't something to be approached with anything less than a constant silent prayer that I can say everything God might need for me to say to this scared, defensive, young girl. And body language, word choice, tone of voice, and even the simplest of gestures can portray in an instant to a client something that makes them shut down and not trust me. So a sensitive responsive constant communication with God is one of the minimum requirement for this volunteering opportunity I have signed up for. And I am ready for this challenge!!!! Or rather this adventure of my life.

And since getting an apprenticeship with a midwife is top priority in my life, I can only volunteer for 1 day so far. Which after today is hard because how can I stick to volunteering one day when I want to be there everyday?!? I'm excited for all the potential this adventure has to shape me into an entirely different person.

So.... if you notice something has changed about me the next time you see me and you can't really place a finger on it, here's an explanation of one of the contributing factors to possibly a perceivable noticed difference in me. Or maybe not an outward difference, but definitely an inward. And this is only after my first day! Absolutely marvelous, huh?

Moving again...

Well tomorrow I'm moving to Millington, TN (about 2 hours from where I live right now) with my parents.

Originally I mentioned re-evaluating about whether or not to move with them in about 3 months (I think). That changed itself.

So my life has been pretty chaotic! I have literally moved going on 3 times within 3 months. I'm becoming a gypsy. A good sort of gypsy that is. And having nothing feel like home really doesn't bother me as much as I originally thought it would. Another thing in my life that makes me feel like a 'gypsy', is that nearly every plan or detail in my life changes mid-action. Like I could be running out the door for a last minute plan, and then the last minute plan is canceled. So I switch gears. And when I am in the middle of a thought of doing something else, another last minute invitation works out and I'm running out the door again.
With moving, the moving dated changed I think twice. So literally all my stuff has been packed since the beginning of this week :-) One side of constantly changing plans is that you either left one step ahead or more than one step behind.

But what is life without stress, drama, or a tragedy of some sort? I could really settle with a lesser dose of drama in my personal life, just for my own sanity sake ;-)

Anyway.... another adventure of my life, which is opening doors to even more adventures. Maybe you'll hear more from me with pictures (dreaming big here) too! Because it's like I'm changing lifestyles to a slower more solitary one. Which is new and full of time to kill :-)

<3 The "Gypsy"

Who Calls Me Beautiful

This was a very moving passage, for me personally, in a book I'm reading called "Who Calls Me Beautiful" by Regina Franklin.(Thanks Mrs. Tara!) Written in the perspective of God to each woman individually who listens to the lies of the world of what's beautiful or not.

Before the beginning of time, I knew you. I knew what color your eyes would be, and I could hear the sound of your laughter. Like a proud father who carries a picture of his daughter, I carried the image of you in My eyes, for you were created in My image Before the beginning of time, I chose you. I spoke your names into the heavens, and I smiled as its melody resounded off the walls of My heart.
You are Mine. My love for you extends farther than the stars in the sky and deeper than any ocean. You are My pearl of great price, the one for whom I gave everything. I cradle you in the palm of My hand. I love you even in the face of your failure. Nothing you say or do can cause Me to stop loving you. I am relentless in My pursuit of you. Run from Me-- I will love you. Spurn Me-- I will love you. Reject yourself-- I will love you. You see, My love for you was slain before the foundations of the world and I have never regretted the sacrifice I made for you at Calvary.
When I see every part of who you are, I marvel at the work of My hands, for I whispered words of longing and desire and you came into existence. You are beautiful, and I take pleasure in you-- heart, mind, and body. You are My desire. When you turn your head in shame and despise what I have made, still I reach for you with gentle passion. You are My beloved and I am Yours.

(Author's adaptation from 1 John 3:2; Isaiah 43:1; Matthew 13:46; Ephesians 1:4; Revelation 13:8; Psalm 194:4; Song of Solomon 7:10; 6:3)


I know all of this is true. And how can I not be so completely humbled and broken that I feel like I have to ask God over and over again, "Why me?"

And just knowing that I can still bring a sparkle to God's eye even when I feel like His greatest disappointment makes me also feel even more unworthy. Because I feel like such a loser sometimes. Why would He be proud of me? But He is. And He wants to show me off, make a midwife out of me because that is His calling for me, and equips me every day to live for Him.

And the stupid thing is, is I get so bogged down by the things of this world and everything the devil tries to tempt me with that I forget all of this. And I find myself smudging the lines in my heart and in my conscience of what's right and what's wrong. And not feeling guilty for picking the sparkly, instant gratification, and flesh building things that the devil offers all the time to make me forget why believing in God and being a part of His Church is worth it all. And on top of all of that, picking the path with least resistance -which makes me easy prey- is just how you begin to walk when you fall for the devil's delusional (which means: to mislead the mind or judgment of; to deceive) gifts.

I guess my wake up call came just in time :-) There is some definite warfare in the spiritual realm, and I don't want to miss out on the fun. (Just kidding about the fun part)

Life Catch Up

I haven't blogged in a long time!!! And wow, a lot has happened!!!

The adventure that Life has me on at the moment is pretty confusing. There are far to many high and lows for someone like me who hates feeling emotional and out of control. But I've had a lot of growth to show for all the hard times. And I can honestly say I have experienced that when I get pushed to my limit-- I don't break, it takes a couple of deep breaths on my part then I work on getting my life back together... but I'm stronger for it. And spiritually, emotionally, and whatever else (physically?, personally?) I'm a different person. And the following events are all contributors to the new me :)

• I got my passage in March. That whole experience and blessing was a series of emptying everything out of me then filling me overflowing with encouragement and nuggets of wisdom that I am still processing. I think it will be there for me to pull from for the rest of my life. And now I have a relationships with the other ladies that for most of my life I've held at a level where it was a kind a barrier between me and them. Also I have to get use to how I am now not allowed to call some of them "Mrs. Fill in the Blank", which is like experiencing life reform in itself. I've called them 'Mrs. Fill in the Blank' for as long as they've been apart of my life. Anyway my passage was one of the events that changed my life.

• I went to Mexico for 3 weeks not even a week after my passage. That trip was hard... a lot of things in my life including emotional boundaries in myself were challenged and changed. Which writing it like that sounds like giving in, but was another one of those moments I was pushed to my breaking point but I'm still alive to learn from it.

• When I went to Mexico I had to bring a couple of Midwifery Lessons with me which I wasn't humanly capable to finish all of them. So I came home swamped with lessons, my friend was getting married, my immune system held out the whole time while in Mexico but when I got home it kinda gave up -pleurisy in your lungs isn't in any of my definitions of fun let me tell you-, and I was an emotional mess... So with all those contributing factors I failed my Second Module and I have to take it again.

All of those reading this who are counting on me becoming a midwife in a couple of years, don't worry this retake has only bumped my NARM exam date about 6-8 months, I think...

I got to talk on the phone with my Module Instructor, which really helped. She's Awesome, she helped me understand I wasn't a failure even though I felt like one. People are counting on me to become a midwife, supporting me etc and I felt like a failure because, at the time, Life took me out. And I was afraid I came to a point where the only option was to wimp out, and I looked at the long run of schooling and asked myself if I was going to let myself fail again. So that experience I've learned from.

• Now more currently, I live at Dean and David P. house. That's an adventure of life :)

• And my parents and my only annoying, lovable, little brother are planning on moving to Millington. I'm not freaking out (which is Rule #1 if anyone remembers), I'm still trying to figure out what I feel and think about that whole deal. I'm not moving with them at the moment but I am planning on re-evaluating that decision within the next 3 months or so.
  

So this is a public version of 'Life Catch Up' from the new Me :)

I passed the test.

Well I passed the test at the end of the workshops with a 92.86%. Not as well as I could have done but it is still a very good grade.

San Antonio here I come!!!

Tonight at 7pm my mom, Mrs Shalom, and I are leaving to San Antonio in our amazing Prius. We are going to drive for a while tonight then get a hotel room and take off again tomorrow morning. It takes about 13 hours for us to get there and I need to be at class no later than 8:30 am on Thursday. And I've discovered I am too much of a procrastinator and for the past few days I have been trying desperately to get some big assignments wrapped up. I still have to write a Research Paper on the History of Midwifery.....
Anyway I'm nearly on the first of many trips to Texas! My eyes are glazed at all that I've yet to accomplish and have accomplished in this day alone.

Take Luck